As previously reported by the Waffle Press, the 2015 A level results were the greatest in the history of the country. Waffle Press reports. Re-entering the multi-purpose hall after 3 months sent visible shudders down the spines of students, as they recollected the borderline unsafe levels of rekt they had been exposed to during the […]

The post Saved By The Bell: A Level Results Exceed Expectations appeared first on The Waffle Press.

The school’s crack team of Corporate Communicators are once again preparing to announce that the school has achieved the greatest A Level results in the history of Singapore. Waffle Press reports. Reporters in the vicinity of the school spotted the Millikan Institute’s team of statisticians streaming into the crystal palace for a brief meeting with […]

The post School Prepares For Best A Level Results of All Time appeared first on The Waffle Press.

As a consequence of the prolonged assault on students’ morales by the SEAB, students islandwide are finding themselves completely incapable of giving a shit. Waffle Press reports. The severe constipation appears to be afflicting a large portion of the A-level-taking population. Many are finding themselves so utterly fed up by the extended senseless massacre of their […]

The post Students Face Medical Emergency appeared first on The Waffle Press.

The recent series of papers has done a more effective job than any GP paper of making students question whether there truly is a god. To best understand the trauma faced, a crack team of reporters from this esteemed publication was quickly dispatched to investigate. We spoke to Mathematics Chief Examiner and high ranking member of both […]

The post UK Set To Boost Exports Of Rekt appeared first on The Waffle Press.

Students islandwide were taken by complete surprise by the recent SN2 attack from Cambridge, exemplifying the growing threat of terrorism from the reputable institution. The Waffle Press reports. Ongoing investigations into Cambridge’s practices have proceeded at a record pace, no doubt completely unrelated to Cameron’s alma mater. Many students affected by the catastrophe were seen […]

The post David Cameron Fails To Stop Terrorism appeared first on The Waffle Press.

Students stepping into the exam hall today were glad to have the chance to finally make use of the wealth of GP knowledge they accumulated over the last two years. They were met with an incredibly well set paper that managed to completely invalidate any attempts at studying, as evidenced by the sudden interest in […]

The post Students In Singapore Suddenly Care About Energy Policy appeared first on The Waffle Press.

A local student was seen panicking frantically in the vicinity of the Foundations of Shaw after seeing his friends hard at work preparing for the impending examinations. Waffle Press reports. The student, Mr Ji Ji Leow, told reporters that Prelims were just days away when he first experienced symptoms of constipation, preventing him from giving […]

The post Student Stressed About Not Being Stressed appeared first on The Waffle Press.

The passage of time has continued completely unnoticed by students who spent most of the last month preoccupied with getting rekt by their Prelims. However, having partially recovered from their melancholy stupor, several observant students suddenly realised it was October. Disbelief has spread like the Kalimantan fire throughout the population, stupefying most students in shock […]

The post Shocking! How Can It Be October Already?! appeared first on The Waffle Press.