As previously reported by the Waffle Press, the 2015 A level results were the greatest in the history of the country. Waffle Press reports. Re-entering the multi-purpose hall after 3 months sent visible shudders down the spines of students, as they recollected the borderline unsafe levels of rekt they had been exposed to during the […]

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The student council is one of the most hallowed organisations in this honourable institution. This group has long taken on the most demanding and important tasks in the school including the distribution of Fruit Plus and the expenditure of vast amounts of money. How exactly do they do it? Waffle Press finds out more. The […]

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Recent events have seen a group of speculators researchers conjuring Narnia-esque fantasies about this esteemed institution, concluding that it does in fact suck. Waffle Press reports. Award winning data scientist Dr Bingley from the Millikan Institute praised the research methodologies of the research team. In a rather lengthy exclusive interview, he told reporters: “The individuals […]

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Students in LT1 on Monday were genuinely mortified to find one of their peers conscious and listening intently in an academic lecture. The student, renowned snaek Ai Suan Guan, was found to be taking notes as the lecturer spoke; in stark contrast to his peers who were engaged in a mixture of doing homework, using […]

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“The fight for the Dean’s List brings out the best in people. It helps them reach their potential.” – Hiss Excellency Ai Suan Guan, Closet Chairman, Closet Muggers Confederation It is a regular pilgrimage that is a sight to behold. Every exam season, the most potent snӕks on campus flock to the Foundations of Shaw. […]

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To the disbelief of all who have ever been in his presence, the deanses listos, a minor species of snӕk is reportedly going on holiday. With the Common Tests concluding on Friday, this particular snӕk wasted little time engaging in post-paper demoralisation discussion sessions and instead grabbed his luggage and headed off for a vacation. […]

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In another bid to cut costs whilst maintaining the shine of its ivory tower, school administrators are considering chiselling the legendary Dean’s List on a stone tablet.This is a natural move, since the names list hardly changes between examinations (with the notable exception of General Paper, where the chosen ones are determined by lottery), and […]

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