The student council is one of the most hallowed organisations in this honourable institution. This group has long taken on the most demanding and important tasks in the school including the distribution of Fruit Plus and the expenditure of vast amounts of money. How exactly do they do it? Waffle Press finds out more.

The council is in charge of many school facilities. These include a segregated canteen, meeting room and student lounge. The canteen is particularly notable for being regularly assaulted by 3-year olds with watercolor sets, an ordeal that has left an indelible mark on its floors and tables.

Also worth noting is the mysterious “Council Room”. This room, accessible only to those who pull the door hard enough, is said to contain almost every man made object. Due to the undeniable fact that council is special, this Hogwarts-esque room of requirement is equipped with air conditioning, a feature recently removed from every other CCA room.

Councillors are known to pull the most mysterious objects out of this room, most of them related to arts and crafts. It is worth noting though that the council room appears to always be lacking when it comes to tape.

There is an important exception to this as the single object in greatest abundance in council is of course red tape. The council is known to put this red tape on almost everything it touches to make it “better”.

Think you want to join the illustrious ranks of the council? There are a couple of requirements you have to meet and a uniquely characteristic selection procedure to undergo.

After filling in the application form, candidates are grilled intensively in an interview. The interview tests several things. First, it ensures that the applicant knows a few words in several obscure languages. Quantity is key here. This test is to ascertain whether the student will be able to proactively contribute to theme discussions with words that no one can relate with. After all, student signups are known to depend solely on the exoticness of the theme.

The second purpose of the interview is to ensure that the candidate is able to get enthusiastic about almost anything. If you can’t enthusiastically shout a cheer about absolutely nothing for the amusement of stone faced interviewers, you’re probably not a good “cultural fit”.

It is only after this rigorous selection and elimination process that candidates are allowed to partake in the free and fair council elections. This bastion of democracy, where the election is the least selective of all the stages, is no doubt a shining example to institutions nationwide.

In order to get elected, nominees make great jokes and distribute vast quantities of free things in a process completely distinct from “vote buying”. Candidates are selected purely for their character and ability to represent students. They also put up creatively designed posters with unambiguous and clearly distinguishable slogans together with adventurous election promises. All elected councillors are known to follow through on these promises with religious fervour.

After the election, new councillors undergo a safe and enjoyable experience known as the “Council Camp”. This of course includes a number of important activities that have clear and direct applications to the real world. For example, students carry newspapers back and forth for exercise (just like the elderly) and subject themselves to a whole host of exciting physical and psychological games.

Some consider the training too extreme, drawing parallels with military boot camps and tuition centres’ concentration camps. However, this is what it takes to give councillors the steely resolve of a true Sai Kang Warrior. It is then entirely unsurprising that many councillors develop a sense of camaraderie with their fellow warriors, united through the unforgiving trials of proposal writing.

Throughout the objective and uncompromising selection period, councillors are closely watched by mentors to ensure they adapt well to life without the tedium of sleep. From the moment they submit they sign away their souls, potential councillors are expected to respond to summons at a moment’s notice 24/7.

The urgency of the all proposals drawn up is strongly impressed upon applicants. Any distractions from their sacred duties for reasons academic or otherwise are abhorred and offenders’ disciplinary records will be duly vandalised.

Following their induction, many councillors go on to make concrete and long-lasting changes to the school environment, helping improve the lives of those they represent. Some notable successes include convincing students the school is their home through the use of a chalkboard and bringing in record turnouts at IHC events.

We hope this preview has given you a sneak peak into the meaningful lives student councillors lead, and encouraged you to serve your school in whatever fashion you deem best.