Many students aspire to one day write works so great that they qualify to win the Pulitzer Prize. While the incredible quality of Waffle Press reporting is tough to beat, it appears the committee looks at more than just quality. We find out just what criteria the award is judged on.

We spoke with Pulitzer Prize Committee Chairman Mr Arbie Trari to learn a bit about the rubrics for the award. He was kind enough to give us deep insights into what exactly a writer needs to accomplish to clinch this coveted award.

1. It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

He first explained how to effectively start a piece, something many writers spend the better part of their lives on. Mr Trari pointed out the need to clearly and effectively set boundaries for the rest of the document, thereby preventing the author from veering off into other more interesting areas.

2. Thesis or Desist

Subsequently, it is necessary for an author to write a “thesis statement” outlining the rest of the piece to the reader like a prose contents page. Some candidates have speculated the presence of this concise summary catalyses the evaluation process by saving the committee the trouble of reading the rest of the piece.

3. A Fool Thinks Himself Wise, But A Wise Man Uses PEEL

Mr Trari was also quick to emphasise the unequivocal importance of the PEEL structure in works that are considered for the prize. He described it as “revolutionary”, extolling its ability to present an author’s work in a rigid and structured manner to make it immensely clear to even the least imaginative readers. When asked how Shakespeare gained such acclaim without the PEEL structure, he retorted with a profound question “Do you understand Shakespeare?”

4. Imitation Is The Highest Form Of Flattery

The conversation then moved on to the content itself about which Mr Trari appeared to have a lot to say. He noted that the finest authors were merely vessels to communicate great ideas. Through some difficult to follow leaps of logic, he arrived at the conclusion that the originality of the content in the piece was not only unimportant, it had a negative impact on its quality. Mr Trari explained that the finest authors were those who took “inspiration” from their predecessors. Those who “tried to be smart” on the other hand, often wrote utter rubbish. He believes this focus on the piece in complete isolation from existing works allows the committee to select the finest works for the prize, rather than the finest authors.

Perhaps with the publication of this informative article, more writers from our esteemed institution will be considered for the Pulitzer Prize. As of this writing, the Waffle Press was not in the running.