IHCS: BW Takes Solid Beating

The House of BW has a long tradition of excellence. After emerging as champion in last year’s IHC, its position at the top of the league tables seemed all but certain. Its earth shattering cheer, with that screaming dance number that no one actually understands, is the envy of many.

However, in a shocking turn of events, the lion appears to have been dethroned and has instead cemented its position in last place in the ongoing IHC Sports activities. This loss is almost as astonishing as the rise of HH to the top 3, Waffle Press investigates.

The slip in rankings comes after a series of poor performances in the various sporting events. The house’s hopes have been beaten with sticks, squashed, drowned and generally insulted. Attempts by house representative Brady to bring out more anone as an orange-yellow precipitate have also proven largely futile. Despite bold boasts of “watching [other houses] crumble” earlier this year, it now appears that the house will be facing an uphill battle to restore its position.

Reports from the IHC sports organisers allege that the BW participants have repeatedly arrived at events severely inebriated, often requiring support to even stay upright. This observation of general clumsiness and drunkenness has been backed by the other houses who compared their behaviour to the all time classic flash game “Spiderman City Raid”. Their jabs at BW’s loss in Waterpolo despite having a long association with ducks were particularly harsh, punching more holes in an already sinking house.

We reached out to BW for comment but were simply told that competitor’s were “high on house spirit”. After a little research, our analysts found this to be entirely true.

Image of BW’s House Spirit

Despite the poor showing by his house, the ex-BW house captain was as shameless as ever. He proudly praised his own brightness with what appeared to be absolutely no remorse. He did however have the good sense to wear sunglasses in the hopes that it might protect his identity.

We will continue to closely monitor and report events as they happen at the IHC Sports events.