A student prodigy in Economics has recently been lauded by everyone but the Department of Economics for outstanding contributions to the field. After an astonishing 7 page preamble about deficit-increasing communist Presidents and their far left agenda of making healthcare affordable, the student proceeded to provide the silver bullet to end the debt problem.

The student argued on the grounds of allocative and productive efficiency, drawing on concepts introduced by prominent economists before him. He suggested that it would in fact be significantly more economical for the US to build a stronger military through extensive borrowing and heavy military spending over the next decade than engaging in any other rational course of action. Citing this petition, he notes that spending USD $850 quadrillion on the construction of a Death Star would significantly advantage the country in any possible interstellar conflict and provide immeasurable bragging rights to proud US citizens unsatisfied with the explosive power of the current nuclear arsenal.

Subsequently, he suggests that the US simply not pay the debt, drawing on playground classics “Watcha Gon’ Do” and “nananana”. The US veto present in any significant international organisation including the United Nations and the International Monetary Fund would be very handy for sidestepping any attempts at debt-collection. He further suggests that should any country attempt to harass the greatest nation on earth by spray painting its door and other petty measures, it be intimidated, accused of terrorism or swiftly and decisively annexed with the Death Star constructed for this very purpose. As this is a strategy the US is known to be familiar with, the student is confident that the country will be able to rekindle the flame of the American empire.

the student supplied us with the above figure to illustrate his point

This earth shattering revelation has already earned him the title ‘The Einstein of Economics’ and the school has also sent his proposal to both the Nobel prize committee and the US Federal Reserve.

Despite the astonishing content of the essay however, the department has already made it clear that the student will be heavily penalised for his lack of a PEEL structure and his excessive “journalistic content” and is therefore unlikely to pass the exam.