CT2: X Things the Mathematics Department Doesn’t Want You to Know

Unbeknownst to most of the students sitting for the examination. The Common Test 2 paper was set with a hidden agenda, with many of the questions relating to real-world events. Waffle Press goes behind the scenes to bring you the inside story.

  1. Fraudulent Wholesaler Puts Rocks In Boxes Of Cherries

An unethical cherry wholesaler has drawn flak for its downright dishonourable business practices. In an effort to achieve the profit maximising output of MR=MC, the wholesaler packed rows of rocks under his cherries. Buyers are advised to examine their cherries carefully to avoid breaking their teeth.

Despite several complaints however, the wholesaler, going only as “Dr Bob”, employed clever statistical manipulation to invalidate claims that he was cheating. This was not helped by the incompetence of the mathematicians hired by the Department of Mathematics to resolve the dispute as several failed to identify the need for the infamous “Student T” distribution. Many instead opted for the Z-Test, a mistake that is likely to cost them dearly.

  1. Ben and Gwen Hope to Establish Intergalactic Casino

Undeterred by new gambling regulations designed to reduce the negative externality of gambling, high rollers Ben and Gwen have invented a new game in a bid to render themselves bankrupt. The game appears to be entirely rigged, with Ben winning an astonishing 2/3 times and has allowed the cousins to inflict significant damage. Around 1200 people have already reported suffering losses at the hands of their ball picking game.

Bored by their career as alien mass murderers and their plumber uncle’s unfunny jokes, the Tennysons hope to set up the first intergalactic Marina Bay Sands casino. They are confident, given their current track record, that they will be able to successfully make an enormous profit from people who are less mathematically inclined.

  1. Kidnapping Children is Easier if They Don’t Sit Together

Double Agent Johnny English has been found recently kidnapping innocent young children in a desperate bid to continue supply for Hydra’s operation “Snaek Attaek”. Before launching his long planned kidnapping of young children from secured seats, he employed his divide and conquer strategy, splitting the children up before abducting them.

With the assistance of several unwilling young mathematicians, the Agent was able to successfully position the children in convenient locations before infiltrating the scene and occupying the final remaining seat. Fortunately, English’s plan was quickly thwarted when his car was impounded by Parking Inspector Yan.

  1. Survey By Mathematics Department Shows Remarkable Trend Of Students Not Actually Listening In Lecture

Anecdotal evidence has always suggested the complete absence of population inversion during lectures. Students are excited (if at all) for the grand duration of 10-8 seconds about lectures and efforts at spontaneity by lecturers have had dismal results. Given the mesmerising beauty of the Giant Graphing Calculator application that many lecturers worship as the mighty Graph God Eywa, mathematics lecturers are completely baffled by this phenomenon.

In an act of groundless optimism, the Mathematics Department has conducted a survey of all students. To test their null hypothesis that students pay attention in lectures 50% of the time, they set question 7 in the math paper as a test of students’ focus and absorption in lectures. As a cruel joke, the question asked unsuspecting students to suggest a way in which all the students might be surveyed. The results of the 1 tail Z-test gave a p value of -1, indicating that additional students enter the mathematics lecture for the sole purpose of not paying attention.