Faced with increasingly restrictive rubrics for SPA grading, school administrators are considering affixing a portrait of the great Dr. Millikan to inspire students in their empirical studies.
Hopefully this will inspire students to get creative if they don’t achieve the prescribed results. In fact, teachers are hoping that the portrait of Dr Millikan will encourage students to take a more pragmatic approach to SPA. After all, if Dr Millikan could win the Nobel Prize with questionable results, surely students can pass their A levels.
Some students and school administrators still expressed concern about the proposal. However, just like anomalous SPA results, the complaints were swiftly ignored.
Discussions are underway to include one of his most famous quotes below the portrait:
“If you’re stumped, don’t look down in frustration, look up for intervention and look left and right for inspiration.”
The department also intends to launch a campaign to encourage students to adopt department endorsed SPA skills. Voting for the campaign slogan is now underway and design submissions are welcome in the comments below.
Slogans being considered include:
“Don’t be shocked, remember your mock”
“If you want to be the best, don’t do that test”
“Doing it is to your detriment, it’s an optional experiment”
“If your results are too strange, get them back in the range”
“Don’t be a fool, don’t touch your tools”
The most popular slogans will be engraved on every lab bench in the Science Block. Other suggestions by supporters of this measure include printing “guiding answers” on the back of the question papers and removing lab equipment from the lab altogether to rescue any self-righteous students from certain death.
Several students taking subjects that do not lend themselves to Dr. Millikan’s philosophy as easily as the Sciences have expressed their concern over the unfair inspiration Science candidates may gain during their practicals. However, the release of the CT2 results is expected to quickly end their protests.