HP Block Set To Secede From School, Country

We all know that the HP block, and those who inhabit it, have always stayed in relative isolation. Despite the segregation of students and the remoteness of the block however, the students of the HP block have started a movement to secede from the rest of the school, and eventually the nation of Singapore.

The idea of an autonomous HP block is not new at all. HP students have a long tradition of being fiercely independent and through devolution over the years have acquired a personal lecture theatre among other spoils. ELL students also appear to have covertly conquered an entire laboratory of Macintoshes. Most notably, the HP students stormed and took over what is now known as the HP canteen for no clear reason.

We caught up with a few HP students to find out why they wanted to form a separate and independent state and any important considerations they might be missing out on. The students explained that the need for a separate HP state arose entirely from the “domination of the sciences” in the rest of the school. They cited the deplorable nature of inferior rote memorisation techniques that appear to be a favourite of both Cambridge and the Science students.

On concerns about their ability to survive on their own, the students were quick to snap back at us. They described their vision of “synergy” with the rest of the school and the sharing of certain important resources. Despite this inevitable dependence on the school, the HP students quoted several prominent figures such as Gandhi, Dickens and Mark Twain to support their cause. Waffle Press found some of the quotes to be entirely made up.

If secession is successful, the HP students argue that the present tensions between the science students and the HP students will be eased. They brought up the “good-natured jabs” often targeted at them to support their claim. When we asked science students about it however, they did not appear to be aware of the existence of the HP nor expressed any interest in finding out. The mention of possible freedom from examinations did arouse their interest however, and discussions appear to be underway in this particular regard.

Perhaps the primary reason HP students want out is that they seek freedom from the shackles of MOE. HP students embrace free thought and feel unnecessarily bound by things like syllabi, contrasting subjects, numeracy and facts. To liberate themselves from the tyranny of the education system, the HP students intend to introduce a radical new curriculum based on the teachings of old philosophers like Confucius and Socrates combined with the teachings of their modern counterparts such as Tupac, 50 Cent and Richard Dawkins.

An independent HP state will have also have the benefit of easier travel. Presently, HP students need to pass through Singapore’s customs and immigrations in order to go on their numerous overseas trips. If the HP were to become a separate country however, no such hassle will be required. The HP can simply use its endless funds to purchase a helicopter and travel to whichever obscure country next takes their fancy.

There is one major limitation of the plan though. Many humanities students pride themselves in the breadth of their exposure. By depriving themselves entirely of exposure to the sciences, many of them are unlikely to be able to pursue any interests and hobbies related to science. For students like Will Sun, who has a keen interest in horticulture, this could be a big impediment.

At press time, the Sovereign Democratic Republic of HP was busy trying to have itself recognised at the Model United Nations.