A straw poll conducted by the Millikan Institute, a leading think tank, has found that students in school now overwhelmingly prefer all superheroes not part of the Avengers. The surprise result found all the Avengers pushed to the bottom, with Iron Man and the Hulk finishing dead last. Topping the poll instead were superheroes like Captain Underpants, GI Joe and of course, Dr Robert Millikan.
While Millikan’s first place finish is consistent with previous studies conducted by the Institute, there is a Stark contrast between the latest poll findings and those just a week ago. Several analysts have suggested that the difference arose from students’ frustration with excessive infighting between the Avengers, which often leads to massive collateral damage. The most recent incident led to over 500 casualties, all of them innocent underaged physicists.
An economics tutor, going only by Mr Smith, has suggested that one possible reason is the increasingly uncertain economic climate. With Greece in deep trouble and the massive US deficit, many students are becoming increasingly disillusioned with the high-flying money burning Avengers. He also mentioned rising fuel prices as a key factor in decreasing the probability that Iron Man could actually exist, lowering his popularity.
Another candidate who fared poorly in this round of polls was Benjamin Tennyson, made popular by chance in the recent Mathematics incident. He was recently implicated in a shocking gambling incident in association with his cousin Gwen Tennyson.
GC Superheroes including Poisson Ivy, Statman and the TI-84 cyborg have stolen some of the limelight, helping hapless victims to net some precious few marks and avoid complete destruction. However, certain limitations with regards to their limits appear to have restricted their popularity.
PW tutor Drill Sgt. Yew Ah Wong expressed his delight at the rise of the GI Joe PW mascot, which he had a significant role in designing. When asked what factors he felt contributed to the success of the mascot however he embarked on a lengthy speech on his multifaceted 4 ‘A’ approach. Our reporter was unfortunately not sufficiently conscious during the ordeal to write down exactly what he said.
Chemistry lecturer Dr Shu Er Dai, was not at all surprised by the news, pointing out a growing awareness amongst students in recent months of the fact that iron “turns brown on standing”. She advised students to spend more time preparing for the apocalypse due to arrive on Friday.
We reached out to the Physics Department for comment but were treated to only smug looks and a vaguely amusing joke about a photon walking into a bar.